A strong willed lady

A ring on her finger....yah it fits her so well.

God has His peculiar way of doing things. Sometimes we literally don't understand why it had to happen. His providence beats human logic. I can attest to God’s everlasting care through humans. Humans who don’t only give you company, but change your life to something coruscative...an awesome recreation.

There are people who are so strong willed. One lady [call her aunty Chitumbo] is a true definition of such will. She seemed to have serious pressings than ‘lack of bread or too much workload.’ She juggled between work, school and family and perfectly managed things with a deterministic virtue, goal getter attributes and appreciation of every moment that made her make it every day.

She never accepts self pity in her life. Even if you offer her a dollar bill she will refuse despite her needing it badly. Her principle, "work for things, never ask from guys." Her boyfriend never knew how to be asked for money for lipstick [don’t kill me for this]. If it means walking to work or plaiting someone's hair to get money for her daily needs as a woman, she did it. Her principle is “never depend on a man, learn to do it yourself.” Truly she lived by her principle. She could embarrass you if you wanted to pay her bill thinking she will throw away her principle. You will be very wrong. 

She combined trust in God, hard work and deterministic virtues in setting goals and pursuing them. If you thought younger age is an excuse, you were very wrong when it comes to her. She's a proverbial lady who aims higher no matter how much bombardments come her way, she keeps the fire burning with a 'genre' of daring the waters.  

I used to have low esteem; I used to think am not good enough for some things. But she could tell me "you are too negative sometimes, this is not good." The seriousness in her voice combined with intolerance for negativity and care made me rise-up above pitifulness. She helped me position myself where I can walk with my head high among giants in life. She often said “in the end it's not the years in your life that count, it is the life in your years.” That drove her do things considered beyond her age. Quite daring!

I learned a number of lessons from her. Firstly, “never cry over your background.” Sometimes we curse, complain and stress over our family or personal history that limits us...blaming it on our parents. That makes us lose focus. She once recorded a message for me “your background matters less; you are a great guy, a strong shoulder anybody could ask for...even if you were in a wheelchair, your personality can make someone to want to be with you” [made me shed tears]. The words sunk in my head, DNA and born marrow. I was renewed. I was interpellated. I re-identified myself. I shock off thinking small about the Goliath in me.

I also learned to use money meticulously. Money has no best accountant. We all misuse it here and there over unnecessary things. She could ask me: “do you really need that? I thought you have that thing which you can use....you can use the money for 1, 2, 3...which are more important.” Her prudence left me spellbound –fascinated. I used to spend anyhow at times, but she taught me the art of managing money and intelligent spending. Thank God I knew her. Angels really don’t come in celestial nature always.

Sincerely is in her DNA. Even when she knew it may not go well with you, she will say it. Her belief is: “the truth hurts, but saves.” One day she just came and said “I gave your number to some lady maybe you may love her.” She wanted me to try out things. Get involved and never see life from the spectator’s seat always. She didn’t want me to drain her with seeking attention; she wanted to wean me off. It happened shortly, she just wrote: “I feel you fall away” accompanied with some foot print emojis. It only sunk in my head later when she extended her hand with a ring on it....someone asked her out and it started with a ring. The man is simply a love genius. I felt dumb and ecstatic about it. It meant drifting away from such a mentor, mother, friend, model and pillar in life. My life became lonely, I felt her irreplaceability. 

Fourth, I learnt carrying a cheerful face even when things are really bad. She often said: “a walk, a leaf of a flower or anything tiny; add flavour to happiness” and if you have chance to do such gestures do it. For sure, small tidings do the magic. There were times I was tensed up and she would drop a ‘God send message’ characterised with caring undertones...words that cheered and renewed my hope to face things. She could be bombarded with home issues, school pressures, work hurdles, boyfriend fights....but she still smiled as though she has never known sadness.

In short, she touched me in so many ways. Wherever you are: you touched my life more than material things can do. You did what Napoleon failed to do; you recreated me for better forever. ONLY God can fully repay you. I’m too feeble to do it myself. YOU ARE SUCH A BLESSING!!