By Clive Mutame Siachiyako
Many
parents tell their children....“I want you to be a medical doctor, I want you
to be a lawyer, I want you to be an engineer, I want you to be a journalist,
etc.” Yes you want; but what about what I want and what I am capable of doing?
A career
is something we will practice for a large part of our lives. If we do what someone
else wants, we will live as slaves to their desires. We will be forced to do
what pleases them, but not what drives us or what our abilities can get us
doing. That’s why it’s important to do what you have passion for, something you
have a drive to apply yourself with the enthusiasm expected of you. Most of the
loft performers are forced into careers they never saw themselves doing.
I have
a friend whose parents forced into nursing school. She couldn’t make it through
first year. She changed schools and never made it again. Parents then pushed
her into a clinical medicine school. The same happened. They took her into teaching;
she was barely into it and never made it too. It doesn’t mean she was so unable
to make it, her energy was somewhere else. Her energy was usurped by the
thought of living to do what parents made her to pursue.
The
moment she finally stood her ground and enrolled into her dream programme – economics
and development studies, sparks blaze from her. She scored highly in her
classes and made it with a highly graded degree at graduation.
It
may seem as though parents are doing it for the good of the children, but their
actions may not be as much as necessary. They don’t take into account
imperatives: children’s abilities, talent and passions. The desire to have children
pursue certain careers alone is not enough. Forcing them do programmes you
studied is neither enough as well. You don’t have same abilities. In as much as
you share some mitochondria DNA, you may have totally different abilities,
hence will go separate career pathways. Forcing career maters on children is
very destructive.
In
fact, parents are ruining so much talent and careers in their homes. This is
done in the name of children doing careers parents want. Families are
engineering children to pursue careers they don’t have passion, energy and
ability to handle. In careers, if you can’t choose it, someone will do it for
you. It’s so sad practising what others prescribed for you for the rest of your
life. You will keep on complaining and perform poorly. You won’t do your best,
excelling becomes hard as well. You may end up an average or below average
performer. In the era of performance appraisals for improved conditions of
service, you may get too frustrated to make a mark in your career.
Some
children are entrepreneurial born. They may not be good in most academic
subjects. Parents may take them to best schools, find them best teachers around
and acquire for them any latest and most useful book; but they will remain
floating in average grades in school. But give them something to generate money
either using their hands or inborn intellect; they will do wonders. Parents thus
have to learn the art of identifying children’s strength early enough and
nurture and provide means for them to make a living out of them.
Time
for pushing children into your dream careers is over. Your time isn’t their
time. We are living in different times. Each time has its unique traits. Each time
requires different sets of mindsets, approaches and self application. Trying to
use 1960 approaches in the 21st century is placing things into total
disarray. Whereas some principles still apply...some of them have been thrown
off the edge.
In
the past, getting good grades in school, getting a government job and waiting
for pension benefits was very ideal. But today, where grandparents, parents and
some children are on the waiting list for pension benefits is not viable. You see
you parents walking on shoes with finished soles in trekking for their pension
benefits and you want to join the same lane. Trying a different path may be
worth more. Or maybe combining entrepreneurial activities alongside formal work
could be more payable. It would provide a buffer zone after work days. You would
have earned substantial knowledge in meandering business routes and survive the
rainy days.
What
can parents do then?
A lot
can be done by parents. Firstly, have time with children at different stages of
their growth and see what they like doing and see how those energies can be channelled
into career pathways. For instance, a child who likes opening wrist watches,
radio sets, television sets, etc., as if they want to see what’s going on
behind the screens are showing engineering interests either electrical or
something in those lines. Find a career expert to help you interpret what you
see if you can’t do it yourself.
Secondly,
have time to know what your children are good at in class. What subjects are
they good at and which ones are they weak at. That could be a sign of their
strength in doing things. Children good abstracts, with long concentration
times, calculative etc., could be strong in mathematical related careers where
they will solve problems that are hard core in nature. I mean e.g. dealing with
a stone, finding right angles of cutting it and make use it or meticulously
work with human bodies when one is injured or sick. There is a lot to master on
your children and make use of it in shaping their careers.
If
a child like fighting for instance, why not enrol them into a boxing academy or
some physical sports so that they learn disciple and channel their energy into
good use? Or let the child try military training. They can spend more in
prerequisites to get entry into such training. A child who makes a lot of noise
can be a good public speaker. Help them learn the art of packaging that noise
into melodious product and sell it to earn a living. Public speakers are
earning money through being masters of ceremony, motivational speaking, poetry,
preaching, singing, etc.
Thirdly, learn the art of prayer. God is the
giver of everything. He gave you the children; trust Him with the guidance
providence of your children’s career goals. Talk to God, engage Him, take your
plea and let Him show you something to use to guide your children into the
right careers.
Fourthly,
consult their teachers. Teachers spend more time with children than most
parents. More than 12 years in the hands of teachers aren’t a joke. It gives
teachers an avalanche of knowledge about your child. Visit the schools, talk to
teachers, and know more about your child which you couldn’t have known by
staying at home.
Parents
thus must help children identify their abilities, skills and competencies they
need in their life careers. Children also must listen to those who have been
there and benefit from their pool of knowledge on meandering life journeys and
see how they fit their dreams into those life stories. Children must identify
role models within their career desires and learn from them and use their
experience to achieve their dream career.
It’s
however important to have options A, B C or even D in choices of careers.
Sometimes our first option may not be our career destiny. We may redefine
ourselves or someone may help us find our real self career wise. Some of us
have multiple career potentials due to our abilities. God give us according to
our abilities....some of us can really handle a number of things with deterministic
virtues required in it to achieve it perfectly well. If we can, why not have
many options.
The
risk of following several options is losing grip of what to settle for. You may
waste your time chasing the wind until age catches up with you. Some level of
stability is premium here. Changing frivolously may send signs of instability. Be
stead, play it calm and soberly. Don’t let today’s excitement ruin your
tomorrows.
No
career comes by chance. It takes effort. It takes nurturing and energy to get
into the right path. It involves parents, friends, teachers and the creator. If
you have not thought about it, start thinking about it now. Start working
things out. If you are in a career you don’t like, try change or find it in
your heart to fit in no matter the amount of frustrations.
I am
mindful of those whose parents long ago. I am mindful of those whose parents
have not gone to school. I am mindful of those in the villages. To everyone,
there’s someone of help. If can be your teacher, your church leadership, your
friends, your community members or role models. No matter your status, you may
have someone you admire, go to them and get advice on career choices.
Above
all, be fair to yourself. Don’t exaggerate your abilities. You sincerely know
what you are capable of doing, you know what scares the hell out of you, you
what you can pursue no matter the storm...don’t do it because of friends. Do it
because it’s about you and your future.
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